Nobody can be prepared for a sick child or grandchild in the family. I have been blessed with two wonderful sons, healthy in childhood. Born three years apart, they shared all the usual ailments, colds, coughs, viruses, chicken pox etc. etc. When they took a fall I picked them up, rubbed their sore knees, kissed them better and was able to “fix” all their troubles and dry their tears. Then came the football injuries and again mum was able to nurse them and feed them with love and chicken soup. I was still able to “fix” it.
My first grandson, Harrison, was born and the feeling was sheer euphoria. I was a nana at last and so very proud, boring everyone with baby photos and constant updates, as every new grandparent will know. I didn’t think I could love anyone as much as I loved that little boy. He was healthy, happy and when he fell, I again rubbed those little knees and kissed him better.
My second grandchild then came into my life, a girl, and after nearly all boys in the family, this was something else. Scarlett was absolutely gorgeous and I felt so lucky to have a granddaughter at last. I looked after her just as I had done with Harrison, picking her up when she fell, kissing her better and again “fixing” everything. My times with my two beautiful grandchildren were so special and precious, always messy play, painting, cake making and all manner of things even mud pies, finding snails in the garden etc etc. Happy days indeed.
Now my daughter in law Danielle was pregnant again after a miscarriage. Another grandchild would be in my life. How lucky am I. The pregnancy was frought with problems as you will have read in Dylan’s Story but when he was born, a beautiful little boy, again the feeling was euphoria. I think the first most worrying moment came on the day of Dylan’s circumcision. It was awful. He wouldn’t stop bleeding. I wasn’t in control of this and couldn’t do my usual “fixing “. My son, Richard, and daughter in law Danielle, were now in charge and I had to “let go”. Dylan eventually got over this trauma. He was a lovely little baby and once again Nana was called upon to help care for him. I was excited but a bit dubious. He wasn’t a happy or settled baby. He cried so much and wouldn’t feed properly.
During one of my babysitting days, Dylan had a most unusual “episode “. I find it hard to explain but I guess it was a kind of seizure. My husband and I were petrified to say the least. Why couldn’t I “fix” this with a kiss? This was really the start of Dylan’s health problems. He suffered from reflux and as you will know from “Dylan’s Story” also had apnoea attacks. The most frightening and terrifying moments were when Dylan stopped breathing. I couldn’t “fix” this. Why? its what I do. I don’t know how my kids coped but they did and still do and I am so proud of them both. I don’t think I could have done what they have to do for Dylan each day. Danielle has such a vast knowledge of medical jargon and has to measure medications and administer injections weekly.
Dylan’s health problems continue. The doctors have said in the past that Dylan wouldn’t crawl or stand up but he is defying them all and I pray he will continue to defy them all. The news is not always good news but I try to be positive and refuse to believe that my beautiful grandson won’t progress. He will do it in Dylan’s time, when he’s ready.
I have now learned that I cannot “fix” everything. I have to accept that. We live from one hospital appointment to the next hoping and praying that Dylan will grow and get stronger. I have so many questions in my head, will he grow, will he walk, will he talk? I have learned to accept. When Dylan looks into my eyes and says “nana” I just melt with love for him. If love alone could make him better, then he would be a six foot giant. He has the love of wonderful parents and four grandparents. His big sister, Scarlett is a credit and adores him as he does her. We don’t know what the future holds but does anyone? I pray every day for Dylan and all those little “swans” out there. Dylan, we love you.