Life after …………..

Dylan 💔

It is every parents worst nightmare to even think they might outlive their own child and even though we were told on numerous occasions over the 11 years, 7 months, 1 week and 2 days we simply never believed it would happen to us. 

This Sunday will be my 1st mummys day without him. My birthday was hard. Christmas was harder. But mummys day is killing me. 

I remember last year on mummy’s day, when cutting myself in half between GOSH and home for my 2 babies, considering taking a break from the hospital to be with my beautiful daughter and my own mummy. Deep down I knew. It could. And was. The last. I will be forever grateful I followed my gut and spent my last mummys day on pokey Robin ward with my darling little boy blue.

Mummy’s Day 2022 @gosh

We spent 2022 mummy’s day in GOSH reception area with both my babies and the nana’s too. The most precious memory I have of mummys day. Albeit the saddest. For he was so poorly. Dylan smiled through it. Which I would like to think was just for me! 

I always used the word ‘life-limiting’ not lightly but maybe never truly understanding its true actual meaning and reality 

I used it in the media whilst raising awareness for his (then) unknown diagnosis,

Winter 2015 edition of Lifestyle Magazine – Great Ormond Street hospital

I used it when fundraising to help make his quality of life more comfortable

Our amazing fun day 🌞

It even gave him VIP access to all the wonderful doctors and nurses at Princess Alexandra hospital who would roll out the red carpet when he came to visit (frequently)

But never ever did I actually realise it would become real and what that would mean. 

Four became three. 

Together became apart.

Happy became sad. 

Laughter turned to tears. 

Life became not worth living. If living is without him.  (In the words of Barry Manilow and of course Spurs, We can’t smile with out you).

Especially for Dylan’s dadeeeeeeeeeee 💙

11 months on, on this sad and lonely path that you call life and I call existence, I talk about him 10,00000 times a day, I kiss his photo 20,0000 times a day, I think about him every mini-second, I cry silently all of the time (but mostly loudly in my own company) and I miss every inch of him with every breath in my body and beat of my heart. 

For Dylan was the happiest funniest sweetest child to grace this earth. He was dealt the most rotten cards, given over 40 diagnoses and more daily medications that one hospital gives in a week. So everyday with him, even with how poorly he was and with all the milestones he was unable to reach, was a complete delight and total pleasure and it was my absolute honour and privilege to be his mummy. He would make me laugh out loud with his beautiful nature and his quirky little ways (boy tights were a must, Mickey Mouse and Peppa pig on loop, potato waffles birds eye of course and Ann Hegarty’s No.1 fan)!

Our little boy blue 💙 made boy-tights ‘a thing’ no matter what the weather 🥵

He made Dylan’s Story an adventure. Mummy & Dylan ‘s Adventure always had a tale at the end of the day. (Generally medically related, sometimes ambulance related (like the time the driver got lost between Princess Alexandra Hospital & Great Ormond St, a blow out on the M11 on THE hottest day of the year and then Dylan making the nurses, driver and paramedics open the back doors and line to sing and dance to Heads, Shoulders, Knees & Toes). It was the best most heart wrenching adventure, and I wouldn’t have wanted to do it with anyone else but you.💙

Dylan was eventually diagnosed with HLH a very rare condition affecting his brain meaning that eventually the rest of his body got very tired and couldn’t keep going anymore. The blessing we had of not knowing this diagnosis until the bitter end is that we had our perfect little boy blue 💙 for as long as we did. If a baby receives an early diagnosis of HLH the prognosis is approximately 1 month and the doctors probably would not activate a treatment plan, had we known Dylan had HLH they probably would never have given him a chance. Clever Dylan hid it from everyone, the best doctors in the world and even me and we had the best 11 years with him. On receiving the diagnosis the doctors were amazed that with such a brutal disease how he breathed a single day on this earth. I would like to think it was our love care and devotion that made him want to stay on this adventure for as long as he possible could.

It was and will ALWAYS be……. 💙

His life was limited but so was mine. I gave up literally everything to spend 24/7 with my amazing little boy and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Our hearts have been shattered into millions of pieces, shaken up, knocked down and reversed over just to make sure they’ll never ever heal. Which I assure you will never happen. My whole heart was filled with Dylan from the day we found out we were pregnant and were told ‘something just wasn’t right’ and until the day he’s back in my arms, this will never change.

His smile was infectious smile 😊

Having to exist on the earth without him is hard, it’s a chore and devastatingly painful. Of course we have to be here for our beautiful Scarlett and we REALLY need her too. If 11 months is too long without him, how am I going to cope with the next 30-40 years??

This weekend is mumma’s day. Dylan didn’t understand any day (apart from Christmas) but having to do it without him is terrifying. He showered me with kisses and cuddles every day but people say the ‘firsts’ are the hardest but I know the 2nd, 3rd, 4th 5th and so on, I will feel just as devastated as I do today without him.

For all the mummies without their beautiful babies I salute you. 

Credit: Emma Bombeck

Credit: Frachesca Cox

*We will be saying our final goodnights to our brave, courageous, gorgeous little boy blue 💙on Sunday 30th April 2023 at Waltham Abbey Cemetery, Honey Lane, EN9 3QZ at 1pm. We will have a small gathering afterwards at Abridge Village hall, Ongar Rd, RM4 1UH. Everyone is welcome

💙 It will always be Dylan’s story 💙

Onwards & Upwards 😀

Well hello! I Haven’t blogged for over six months. 
Haven’t had the time. 
Time…… something I’m almost always late for. This isn’t a New thing. Happened when I was a teen. I’ve got better though. Never more than half hour late….. mostly!! 

But ALL of my time is being taken up caring for and being a mummy to my little toddler ( I say toddler in the loosest of phrases ) as that’s exactly what Dylan is trying to do. 

My 7 year old baby is turning into the funniest, cutest, most loving incredible little toddler. The little boy stuck in the mind and body of a baby is starting to develop ever so slowly, but ever so…….

Dylan by rights should be in Year 3 ‘Juniors’ but instead I’m still continuing to home educate my pre-school aged little boy. 

Dylan’s developed the most wonderful character. He’s oh so funny makes us laugh 24 hours a day ( sleeping is still not very high on his priority list 😴 ) He’s into everything now, he’s even found a love for Peppa Pig and does the cutest little snort when watching her. He picks Peppa up along with the remote and that’s him verbalising what he wants to do. 

He plays with his toys (I say plays. He does a lot of throwing and squashes a lot of potato waffles over his toys, toys like to eat you know!) 

For a non-verbal child he makes a hell of a lot of sounds and communicates by using ‘ ‘Dylan-aton’ (Makaton is far too common 😂) 

McDonald’s, Fruitshoot, sweets and choc (dairy free of course) have all got their own signs. Dylan invented them all and they’re fab. 

Both his Nana’s have their own names. Nana S is Nana Mum (he’s picked that one up from me calling her) and Nana F is Nana Bum Bum (no words!) 

Grandpas Taxi ride to McDonald’s has its own sign but I couldn’t even type what he does. We just know. 
As for Papa, Dylan mimics the funny noise he makes down the phone. So everyone has their own ‘new’ identity. 
The absolute love of Dylan’s life is his big sister Gaga, whom he sits at the front door whilst she’s at school desperate for her to be home. 

Eeeeeeeeeeee (Daddy) gets the credit for clearing up sick. Dylan’s MTX chemotherapy injections make him sick and he continues to tell me daddy clears it up (even though it was me!) Dylan jumps all over Daddy when he gets home wanting to play. 

As for me, Dylan’s learnt to climb on my lap, rest his head on my shoulder and give me a ‘Dylan Cuddle’ I’ve waited over 7 years for this and I happily stop dead to cooperate as these cuddles make me the happiest proudest mummy ever. Oh and when he blows a kiss too, I’m in heaven. 

He’s a quirky little character, loves playing ‘I see’ and literally hits himself in the face covering his eyes. Loves (trying) to do head stands (this worry’s the life out of me as he is so fragile) He points (well pokes, scratches and basically hurts) to my face parts as we learn the eyes, nose mouth etc. But no. Dylan prefers the neck. (Have you ever been pinched on the neck by a small 7 year old. Ouch!) Giggles when he try’s to do the conga, pulling on the back of my top singing La la la. 

He will only drink out of a new orange fruit shoot, has to be Asda teeth and lips and now loves a fish finger. Absolutely loves a shopping trolley and a credit card (don’t know who he takes after??) 

He lay on the floor with his head down if he’s had a seizure and gives a little cry to tell me if he’s in pain. Points to the top of his leg each evening before we inject his Anakinra and goes over to the chair when it’s time for his immunoglobulin infusions. But when it’s time for his chemotherapy he knows this makes him sick and does the sound effect to go with it. 

Honestly the list goes on of how funny our handsome little man is. Our teeny little boy who has the rarest of undiagnosed condition, doctors didn’t think would make past 5 months old, wouldn’t walk let alone sit up. Continues to amaze and inspire me daily. He lights up our lives and we wouldn’t change him for the world. He’s taught us to laugh again and to cherish every single day we have with him. 

It’s Dylan’s Story & he writes the chapters. No one is invincible, every day is a gift to each and everyone of us. Live. Love. Laugh 💙

Please follow Dylan’s Story on Facebook 

Dylan’s Story in connection with the Tree of Hope charity are in our second year of fundraising to build Dylan a safe and sterile sensory room he deserves. To donate Click here

Knowledge is Power #undiagnosed #UCD #dylansstory

Before Dylan, a SWAN was a large aquatic bird. I had never heard of a genetic syndrome as being undiagnosed. Before finding SWAN UK (Syndrome without a name)

I’ve since found out a SWAN looks like this! (& remarkably can drive a car!!)

I had absolutely no idea we were not alone. 6000 children are born in the UK every year with a genetic condition that cannot be diagnosed because it is so rare. As a parent of a SWAN, life can seem lonely and you can feel isolated, forever seeking answers to endless questions.

In order to raise awareness for the many children, like Dylan, who are living with an undiagnosed syndrome, I decided to take ‘Dylan’s Story’ public. Undiagnosed Children’s Day (UCD) is huge annual event so we rely on as much media coverage as possible to raise awareness. In 2015 ITV News were looking for an undiagnosed child at GOSH and Dylan was selected to feature in their following day’s programme whilst having his Heart Echo. Blink and you’d miss us. Hours of filming and numerous interviews condensed into ten seconds. I was so proud to have been part of UCD and for introducing Dylan to the world.

Later that week, prior to UCD15, Lauren Roberts (National Coordinator, SWAN UK) published a post on social media searching for a family to share their story live on the BBc’s Victoria Derbyshire Show the very next morning. Without hesitation I volunteered. Quick DIY spray tan, sleep in rollers and, voila, we were ready for our 6am pick up. Traffic was horrendous as we nipped in and out of bus lanes in the taxi. We arrived with only seconds to spare, whisked into hair and makeup, had a very brief introduction to Victoria, then we were live on her sofa. I hadn’t rehearsed; it all just came from the heart. Being interviewed about living with an undiagnosed child could be my subject on Mastermind.

Knowing people were watching and receiving their support encouraged me to continue raising awareness. ‘Dylan’s Story’ was born.

As a result of my subsequent blog and Dylan’s Social Media, I was contacted by journalists wanting me to share our story. We appeared in several publications including; the Radio Times, What’s on TV, Channel 5 News, local newspapers (Brentwood Gazette and Epping Forest Guardian),

Articles for GOSH (Patient, Donors and Staff) Magazines,

We featured (stared 🌟 haha!) on BBC’s DIY SOS for GOSH when they renovated a beautiful rooftop garden. To be asked to be part of DIY SOS at Great Ormond Street is such an honour albeit bitter sweet, for Dylan has been a patient all of his life. Dylan had great fun filming though and kept Presenter Nick Knowles and his team on their toes!!

We even appeared on a South American Breakfast show.
Social media has a huge impact on society and even the celebs love to partake! Because of the way society works, Dylan has gained a superfan who we are in ore of. A truly wonderful inspirational lady. Katie Piper we 💖 you.

We live each day making memories and we have made some beautiful memories whilst raising awareness.

We were literally raising awareness across the globe. The more exposure, the wider the audience. My mission is to spread the word #undiagnosed. No one knows what the future will hold for Dylan, but no one knows what the future holds for any of us. Dylan is an inspiration who continually reminds us what is truly important in life. Dylan has created an incredible bond in our family making us who we are: strong independent parents who take what’s thrown at us and make a life out of it.

In today’s age of tablets and smartphones, it is incredibly easy to communicate your story with the world. I urge you, if you have a message you want to spread, publish blogs/ vlogs, and create Facebook/ Twitter accounts. You will be amazed how much support you will receive and, what’s more, learn you really are not alone.

Undiagnosed Children’s Day is a nationwide event on Friday 28 April to increase awareness of undiagnosed genetic conditions and raise funds to support SWAN UK, the only dedicated support available in the UK for families of children with undiagnosed genetic conditions.

Last year fundraisers, schools, families, companies and donations raised a (approx) £20,000! With your help this year we can take it beyond this figure. To donate TEXT SWAN11 £3
(or any amount up to £10) to 70070 #undiagnosed

Dylan is also fundraising with an outstanding event.  Bigger and better than last years later this year. I am so exited I just can’t wait, and (all being well!) I will have 2 working legs this time to be able to join in. Raising funds for Dylan’s indoor and outdoor sensory rooms. To donate TEXT DYLS65 £2, £5 or £10 to 70070 #dylansstory

Raising awareness is just as important, if not more so than raising funds. Knowledge is power. Please spread the word (& donate a pound or 2 to both amazing causes. Please! 😘)

The ‘P’ Word

The ‘P‘ word, let’s call it ‘potato‘ 

Isn’t it strange how one simple word can make you quiver 

There’s a few I can think of but one new one has become part of my vocabulary this week. 

PALLIATIVE (care) 

The word yells ‘end of life‘ at me. I’ve only just come to terms with the words ‘life-limiting and life-threatening‘ The words that made my legs crumble beneath me when I heard that and Dylan in one sentence. 

Now, those who follow my blogs may have noticed I’ve been a bit quiet of late. Sometimes words just flow. Other times I’m just like Dylan ‘non-verbal’ I apologise for my distance. 
Firstly I would like to wish you all a very happy & healthy New Year. 

Like every New Year, I think ‘this’ll be our year’ However, (& I really don’t like to talk too soon) we have started each year, 2011 through to 2016 with a poorly little boy (thanks time-hop & Facebook memories for not letting me forget!) 

Now 2017 (albeit we are only 17 days in) is proving to be a positive one. The most positive by far. For our gorgeous little boy Dylan is doing well, very well in fact. Our generally sick little boy is suddenly full of laughter and giggles, cuddles & naughtiness. He’s happy, fun-loving, cheeky, newly inquisitive, incredibly messy and extremely funny. Oh, and when he wiggles his toes in ‘if you’re happy and you know it‘ I could just eat him up. 

Back to the ‘P‘ word. 

When an appointment came through to see a paediatric consultant from the Palliative care team at GOSH I felt physically sick. This isn’t a general paediatric appointment. Not just anyone can see this type of doctor. 
Now, when he’s doing so well as well. The stigma of the ‘P’ word was making my eyes sting. 

Stigma. I’ve experienced many of these in the six and a half years I’ve been Dylan’s mummy. A couple of years ago when we were referred to a children’s hospice I had the same feeling. 
Children’s Hospice; A nice place for child and family. Nothing else. 

When I googled the ‘P‘ word the definition was far from what I was imaging. In fact what defines the word described exactly what Dylan requires. 

Palliative; To alleviate pain without dealing with the cause of the problem. This I can deal with. This is what Dylan requires. A doctor who specialises in pain management and can tweak Dylan’s pain relief in order to help him. Especially when the worlds renowned stongest drug rarely works. 

The ‘P’ word. A word I am now not scared of. 

The only ‘P‘word I will be using for 2017 is……… Positivity 

When (did) I grow up…..??

As I sit here on the evening of my 39th (eeek how the hell did that happen???) birthday and enter the last year of my 30’s (with little grace) surrounded by the tons of make up I’ve received as birthday gifts (boy do my friends and family know me or maybe they can just see what I feel??) 

Talking of how I feel;  well age related anyway, I honestly don’t think I feel 39 years old. 39 was once ‘old’ now I am 39, next birthday 40 OMGOODNESS how did that happen??? 

How do you feel like when your 39 years old? 

It’s not even late 30’s anymore any later n it’ll be 40. 

Hands up if you thought 40 was old ✋🏻. 

40 is the new 30 I’ve heard – it’s only coz we’re approaching incredibly quickly. If you asked my inner 15 year old’s opinion on a 39 year old she’d be screaming OLD right back at ya!! 

Middle aged, married mother of a Pre-teen (& a special one too but I will get to that). Equals as old as I feel writing this 😱😱

That feeling when ‘that’ song comes on the rad when you’re driving (*that song refers to most 80’s or 90’s songs which you know all of the words to and have a particular memory of from your yoof). 

Then it hits you and you realise that amazing ‘tune’ you are listening to is now an old classic. This particular song I sing word for word and can even still do every dance move (well in my head it’s amazing I’m not completely convinced I’d live stream it on Facebook 😂😂) Pray, Take That is officially OLD!!! 

But I’m sure at this point I’m not completely alone. My inner 15 year old is loving this tune. In fact I’m sure my inner self is stuck somewhere between the 80’s and 90’s still dancing round to Especially for You and Step by Step, With her finger on the record button so not to get all the talking from the Sunday chart countdown…….. 

Reminiscing on the pre kids days when life was simple. If I had the stress now I thought I had then id be incredibly stress free and if I was as fat as I thought I was then…….. well that’s a different blog altogether….. zzz 
 

I start my 39th year with a wonderful cruise to look forward to next week, some truly amazing friends who help me get through some of my difficult days. One I’ve been friends with for 35 years, the others are either approaching the 20 year marker or have passed it. (Oooch see old), my amazing supportive and loving  family & husband who too use the same speed-ageing cream (Dylan) as me, my darling mini-me Scarlett who already is causing a debate between my inner 15 year old and me as a mummy. 

Then there’s the  star of my show; my prince, my Dylan. 

• Who ages me by the day. 
•  Who entered my life and has changed the way I look at the world,
• Who flummoxes top Doctors, 
• Whose tought me the real meaning of worry
• And the real meaning of love 
• Who makes my heart break and pound with joy simultaneously on a daily basis. 

This roller coaster we are on is an incredibly bumpy one but I do my best to hide my fear. But no matter how scared of this ride I am I never ever want it to end. 

* when I started this blog it was going to be about having an undiagnosed child in prep for an interview, however I have to go where the flow takes me and here we are; a completely pointless blog about being in my last year of my 30’s. You’re as old as you feel they say. So I will take a view at regular times during this coming year and let you know.

 
New Kids Still sing this song every birthday on The Block Happy birthday

NKOTB Happy Birthday To You – love this video and it’s not too old lol

(I’ll get by) With a little help from my friends 👭👭👭

Wow Wow Wow, I am dizzy from the excitement of Sunday. I am overwhelmed with the funds we have raised, I am touched with the amount of people who came to support us. Friends I haven’t seen since primary school came to show their support, one school friend even cut her family mini-break short to be at our event. 

Sunday wouldn’t have been possible without the help of so many people; 

Firstly my fabulous friend Karen; we turned an idea we had on a crazy phone conversation into this monstrosity

You have dedicated your time 24/7 to Dylan’s story, stuck in your office on cold nights and hot days. Working non stop. You are an incredible friend and an incredible person. 

Harry; all this materialised by a sheer chain of coincidences. Wow. What you have donated to Dylan’s story goes above and beyond the call of duty. There’s not many people out there who would take a family of strangers under their wing and work solid along with their gorgeous family to help raise money for my little boy. The Howard’s, an incredible, selfless family helping others out of the kindness of their hearts. You are lucky if you come across people like this once in a lifetime. A true gentleman and a true friend. 

Jimmy & Chrissy; a quick phone call from Sonia and you jumped on board the Dylan’s story train. Knowing nothing about us other than we are a friend of your daughters friend. Offering your time, welcoming us into your life. Introducing us to the Abridge committee and becoming our friend. You really did drive this to being what it became. 

When Karen and I walked into the Bar on that Tuesday night we couldn’t have anticipated what was in store. Bev, Danny, Steve, John, John, John and the rest of the Abridge committee. You welcomed us into your village and into your hearts you have given up your own time to help us and how you all worked on the day was spectacular. A group of incredible people. Dylan’s Fun Day had the most prestigious venue we are so lucky to have had everyone of you on board. 

Katie Piper the most inspirational woman I can proudly say ‘ I know ‘ wanting to be part of our special day after following Dylan’s Story. Generously giving up your Sunday so you and your daughter could be part of our day. Becoming an honouree ‘Dylanette’ you rocked that T shirt and worked as an amazing team with DJ Guy drawing our grand raffle. 

DJ Guy Powers; what did you say that for??? Offering to assist at a charity event when chatting at the end of a party we hired you for in March after you were touched by Dylan’s story. Little did you know what I had up my sleeve!! In the process you have become our friend. You are quite possibly the kindest, loveliest man (too slushy???) there is. You gave up a whole working day to be part of Dylan’s fun day and wow did you do an amazing job. Everyone has said how spectacular you are. I hope everyone whose booking a party for their kids this year book Krazy Kids Disco. You really are a fabulous ‘Guy’!

Huge huge congrats to you and Jodie on your upcoming wedding. 

My lovely friend and footballer Josh Wright. Thank you for your support in the lead up and on the day. I heard the winner of your signed football shirt was very chuffed to win it. 

Jessica Wright for your support on the day and for your donation to our raffle, a stunning black evening dress from your With Love Jessica range. 

Danielle Armstrong and Debbie Douglas; glamorous TOWIE stars thank you for your support on Sunday. 

Robert & Alex only the best Printing Company around! From responding to my email which most people just ignored, printing our logo, printing our T-shirts, keeping up with my ever increasing demands even though you were hugely busy with your own orders and making my Dylanettes stand out in the huge crowd which there was on Sunday. We will definitely keep in touch and get together very soon. 

Harold Black; our honouree Dylan’s Story photographer I am so excited to see the professional photos & thanks to his wife Marian who did not stop pacing the field all day. 

To The Tree of Hope; without having a registered charity number we wouldn’t have been able to raise anywhere near what we have, we wouldn’t have been donated such prestigious raffle and tombola prizes. Having you behind us is an unbelievable achievement. 

To those of you who came along 9am on a Sunday morning to assist in our set up; Dan Payne! Lee Neary! Jonathan Yarlett & the cream-cheese bagels!, Katie Maidment & Hollie, Laura Nygate, Emma Goldman, Harrison Myers, Debbie Shepherd, Abi Shepherd & Ziggy & Ross Barrington; transforming the Abridge field. 

Through the day people were helping without me even knowing; my brother Uncle Elvis; modelling a designer high vis vest almost single handedly controlled thousands of cars going in and out of the car park, Lloyd Nygate your vocation in life has been fulfilled – a fairground assistant! Richard Saunders and Darren Kantor who too rocked the high vis vest! Rachel Kellinger & Steve for your assistance on the stalls, Paul & Danny O’Hare for arranging the most competitive stall on the day – Speed Shooter (can we book you for our next event??) & thank you to anyone else I may not have mentioned. 

Cousins Adam Myers & Debbie Allen bonded for life through the exchange of a Kidney worked together on Dylan’s Keepy Uppy stall even charging people to talk to them. They are most definitely the ‘Dream-Team’

The amazing Stage One Theatre group and their Jack and the Beanstalk characters (book your tickets for their fabulous Christmas Panto here Jack & the Beanstalk

Jimmy Ray and the Lovely Elain Gilby for entertaining the crowds with their stunning voices. 

Leigh Young, the only person who I will give two mentions to in this blog. ‘The Don’ ‘The Bank Manager‘ and the ‘Bar Man‘. It probably was the biggest birthday party anyone in Essex has ever had!! 

Lou Karamanlis; what a job you had to do, many would want to do it just to cause pain to the Myers Bro’s (The new Mitchell Bro’s) and many watched in pure amusement at the agony they were in. Paul Myers, it’s lucky you weren’t too busy on Sunday to knock down a few pints to numb your pain. Thank you for assisting your brother raise almost £3000 to help your gorgeous nephew Dylan. 

Our Sponsors Elliot Leigh Property Management Ltd thank you for starting off our fundraising and being a huge part of our event. Thank you Leigh & Eliiot 

Glyn Hopkins your cars looked so prestigious on the field on Sunday. We are so grateful to have had you as our sponsor too. Thank you Fraser

Uncle Gresh whom I gave the task of creating our logo and what he came back with first time was perfect. He created a child like professional logo which incorporated a swan & therefore the brand ‘Dylan’s Story’ was born 

As we are nearing the end of this extrodonary list of thank you’s there’s a group of people I simply couldn’t have done it without. My friends some I’ve known for over 30 years and some for only a short while. But these girls are a huge part in my life and am so lucky and grateful to have them. 
The Dylanette’s 

Debra Yarlett, friend for over 25 years who I can go months without speaking to but when we do catch up its like to was only yesterday we spoke. 

Jaclyn Dunne, from the first day at Secondary school aged 11 we became good friends, been at each other’s wedding and there through thick and thin. We went to see Take That aged 15 and still going to see them in our (late) 30’s 

Nikki Tyler BFF’s like our girls would say for over 18 years. We have taken on the roles of surrogate mothers to each other’s daughters & can talk about endless rubbish for hours on end as long as we have coffee and cake! 

Sonia Farrow; it may have only been this time last year that we met but it feels so much longer. I am so happy that you chose to move your children to Scarlett’s school. I know this is a true friendship which will last the duration. 

Sophie Horton, you was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you 😂😂😂 and here we are 22 years later. Through good times and bad times we’ve stuck together. My bridesmaid and true friend.  

Tara Williams my other bridesmaid, what can I say my darling. Since the first day of primary school aged 4, 35 years of true friendship. There’s been highs and some rotten lows but we are always there for each other like sisters. 

Natasha Saleem and Nadene Stevenson like two angels appeared to help us out of the kindness of your hearts. It’s been an absolute pleasure meeting you Nadene and getting to know you better Tash. Thank you. 

I’m nearing the end for those who haven’t dropped off to the land of zzzz’s 

My family, mum, dad, Fran & John, brothers & wives, partners, nieces and nephews. Life changed for you all the day we found out Dylan was a poorly child. I know it took a while to accept that’s he isn’t your conventional grandson. A unique, one off, one in a billion child who I know not one of you could love any more if you tried. All the Nana’s and papa’s, Richard, Scarlett & I couldn’t get through each day without your love and support. 

Richard my rock, by coming home from work early so I can fly back and forth to meetings, to being ignored when you are home because I’m constantly working on the computer or doing paper work. I simply couldn’t have done any of this without you. I’m sorry dinners have been rubbish I guess now I best get back to my place – the kitchen!! I really hope you are proud of what I have achieved for our baby boy. 

Little Miss Scarlett for putting up with mummy being so distracted for so many months, you’re ideas have been inspirational you have such a clever head on your little shoulders and are truly the best Dylanette there is. 

So it appears after realising what everyone else has been doing you may think I have literally sat down with my feet up for months! Which indeed I have!! (Not for choice) 

Seriously though, all the blood, sweat tears and broken bones have been worth it. 
Thank you to everyone who has helped, donated, sponsored and came along to support us. Sunday wouldn’t have happened without every single one of you. 
I sincerely hope I haven’t forgotten anyone but if I have (I blame the morphine I’m on after my operation!) I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 

I feel very lucky and honoured to be surrounded by such amazing and wonderful people.
Finally, and by no mean least. The star of the show. Whom it’s all been about. The person who has aged me terribly but makes me smile every single day. The love of everyone’s life Dylan. 

Tomorrow isn’t promised so please cherish every day. Life is a precious roller coaster. We take the ups with the downs and get right back up again. 
If you haven’t donated yet. There’s still time via Tree of Hope / Dylan’s Story and please keep linking and sharing Dylan’s Facebook page

Thats what friends (&family) are for 👭👭👭👭

Slow down people would tell me,  take a break they’d say……

So we booked a fabulous family holiday to Marbella we were so looking forward to some well earned and precious family time in the sunshine, by the sea, on the sand, laughing & joking……. After the sudden health deterioration Dylan had suffered of late. 

Surely this was the break people were suggesting and the one we were anticipating?? 

But 48 hours prior to our flight I got a break. 

Six breaks in fact. 

In my fibula, tibia, bloody smhmiba!!!!! 

Not the break we had planned. 

Anyone that knows me knows I do not do a job by half….. So even down to breaking my leg I made sure was done good and proper. 

A huge fear of mine is breaking a bone. For I am the main carer of our almost six year old little boy, this little boy whose needs are that of a baby (& some). Our little boy whose life is so precious as well as being limited and far too medically complex for doctors to fix! 

So last Friday on way to do our last bits in prep for Marbs, Dylan and I took an almighty tumble down the stairs, whilst protecting him with my life, even the baby stair-gate didn’t stop our fall as we crashed straight through it bringing it off the wall and to the floor with Dylan and I. 

I heard the crumble and crack in my leg and the thump as we hit the ground. The pain was immense and we were both crying. Initially I was so happy I could hear Dylan’s cry as I knew he was alive. Then I was hysterical that I couldn’t move my body to get to him. I dragged myself to the front door to open in hope someone would hear and come to our rescue. 
Alone in this position with a non verbal child; what the hell was I to do??? Now the clue in actually in the title ‘mobile phone‘ and this, thank the Lord I had to hand. 

After calling hubby and mummy screaming for help everyone headed to our rescue hubby flew down the motorway, my parents, my in-laws and my gorg friend Sonia along with the nee-nor of a blue flashing ambulance filled with 3 very patient & kind paramedics. 

Sonia was first through the door who joined in with our crying, I needed her to check Dylan was unharmed as now I was flat out on floor in the most immense pain I’ve ever felt. Dylan was fine. I honesty do not know how, but once fed potato waffles and an orange Fruit Shoot he soon calmed down. 


Long story short; the NHS were superb, the operation went smoothly albeit I was awake for the whole two hour long surgery but am now on the long road to recovery. 

So instead of laying on a sun bed in Marbs i ended laying on a bed somewhere just as hot but not as glam – PAH hospital in Harlow!

So, I now I am a temporarily disabled person caring for my disabled son, and am the not-so-proud owner of lots of mobility aids including a wheelchair and a Zimmer frame. 
Having your independence taken away from under your feet (excuse the pun) is horrid. 

But I am truly thankful and touched by all the love and support I have received. My amazing supportive caring and loving husband, I am so so lucky to have my wonderful parents and in-laws who have all gone above and beyond the call of duty looking after me and my babies and of course my fabulous friends – ‘The Dylanettes‘ who have been put on a rota basis for caring for us, making endless cups of tea and being my personal hairdressers.  

So the break I’ve had this year wasn’t the one I had in mind…………… 

🎼Like a small boat on the ocean🎼

I have been hit by writers block once again with so much going on in my life recently to know exactly what to blog about and where to start is a headache in its self. 

Hearing Dylan belly laugh for the first time in almost a month is the only inspiration I need….. 

From losing his independence because of a nasty arthritis flare up, to having multiple virus’s leaving him lethargic and lifeless, to now hearing him laugh makes me feel all warm and gooey, the love I have for this helpless child is indescribable. 

So the hot question I have spinning around my head is ……

” Why the hell do we keep putting him through all these (unnecessary) intrusive procedures ?? “

For every General Anaesthetic attacks his already compromised immune system, leaving him prone to more illnesses. Meaning his already compromised life expectancy is at risk. 
Having so many underlying illnesses means every time he’s attacked by a virus or an infection all of Dylan’s problems decide to rear their ugly little heads and upset my boy and us all.  

And for what???? 

Every parent of an undiagnosed child can almost certainly guess the outcome of these investigations we put our poor innocent children through. 

” Unfortunately Mr & Mrs Dylan’s parents the results of the recent test show nothing’s wrong “ 

Hmmmm obviously there is something wrong for my beautiful little boy, who is approaching his biggest mile-stone to date, his 6th birthday, is stuck in the body and mind of a baby. 
Yes he has 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect little toes but he also has more than 

• 20 horrid diagnosis, 
• Is under 15 different teams at Great Ormond Street Hospital 
• Has 4 different Clinical Nurse Specialists, 
• Is on 15 different daily drugs, 
• Has 1 weekly subcutaneous (chemotherapy) injection, 
• and 1 weekly infusion 

all that’s missing is his Partridge in a Pear Tree – his overall genetic diagnosis. 

So yes something is obviously bloody wrong. 

Every suggested investigation brings so many emotions. 
At the beginning we thought 

‘we shall put him through this xxx procedure as it will give us the answers we are seeking’ 

To the next investigation:

‘the last test was wrong now we will get our the answers we are looking forward’ 

to 

‘the last 20 tests couldn’t have been performed correctly at least now we will get out answers’ 

to now, after more than 50 different investigations my left and right side of my brain have its own conversation; 

(left side of brain pipes up) ‘is there any point putting him through all this again to not get any answers’ 

(Right side of brain debates) ‘but this might be the test to answer our prayers’ 

In the mean time if Dylan spends a whole month, following one of these procedures with his health deteriorating and  being rushed back and forth to A&E is any of it actually worth it??? 

So the real question is when do we say enough is enough?? 

It’s not giving up is it?? 
It’s just letting Dylan live with his Undiagnosed Condition for as long as he’s able to and continue to let him belly laugh over the silly little things that make him the happy little chappy he is. 

But please, do not judge me when you read on Facebook later this year that Dylan is undergoing yet another (pointless) investigation. As you never know, “dreams can come true” 

But in the mean time I’ve dedicated Rachel Platten’s fight song to the strongest fighter I know….. Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me 💙

Please don’t forget to support us in anyway you can – September 11th, put it in your diary now for its Dylan’s Fabulous Fun Day It is going to be a spectacular day. Fundraising via the Tree of Hope to help make Dylan’s life simpler. If you are able to donate as little as £1 Dylan would be incredibly grateful. Please click on link above or TEXT DYLS65 to 70070

Until next time. 
Dylan’s Mummy xx 

(Channel) FIVE⭐️STAR

  

I thought I’d very quickly squeeze a third ickle Undiagnosed Children’s Day blog in just in time for ‘the big day’
A lot of you have seen on mine and Dylan’s Facebook pages our interview which aired this evening on channel 5 news. In case you popped off to Venus or perhaps Mars this afternoon you can catch it here. Dylan on The News

It’s a Bitter Sweet experience, as I would be a liar if I said we didn’t enjoy our ‘five minutes of fame’ ‘Lights, Camera, Action’ but the serious reasons behind why we are being showcased on national news is very bitter. For our beautiful, amazing little fighter does have an Undiagnosed life-limiting condition. 

  

Apart from the fact it looks like this particular camera has added 10 stone, not just 10 pounds, my gorgeous new very high nude designer shoes didn’t make the cut and I obviously had too much hairspray which did the reverse and made my hair look sticky up not sticky down (and yes I am very self critical) oh and rein-acting Goldilocks and the three bears on the teeny weeny little chairs which being brutally honest felt more like sitting on a loo – I DID IT (shouty capitals) confidently, eloquently and just getting our story out there. 

  

Dylan is our Peter Pan!!!!!!

 
So with a really poorly little girl (who should have been home in bed) and a tired little boy we set off to our favourite place SNAP Charity where they kindly let us use their amazing premises to film. Thank you so much SNAP, we ❤️ you. 

The gorgeous Lauren from SWAN came along to support me (I think she really just wanted to spend a couple of days in Essex) she even got to visit the SugarHut! And promised next time she visits to get the ‘right shade of orange‘ fake tan, just like me lol!! There’s an Essex girl in there shouting to get out!! 

  

The C5 News reporter and cameraman were fantastic. Immediately understood just how much Dylan could take of the filming and knew just the right time when to cut so ‘the star of the show‘ ⭐️ could have a ‘Robinsons Orange Fruit Shoot‘ break! 

  

So me, as my normal ‘cold as ice‘ self chatted for the best part of the three hours we were interviewed and filmed for. Showing no emotion, even when the cameraman welled up. Babbling on about my favourite subjects; Dylan, Undiagnosed and SWAN….. 

Dylan and Scarlett were absolutely amazing and both made me immensely proud of how well behaved they were and how they both took to the camera like a ‘SWAN to water‘ #proudmamma 
The love my children have for each other could melt Arendelle on a bad Elsa day! She is he’s tonic and he drives her mad. #perfection 

Tomorrow is Children’s Day and raising awareness for Dylan and the thousands of children born each year with an Undiagnosed Genetic condition is massively important to me. 
There are loads of awareness days throughout the year, every day someone is raising money for one cause or another but if you kind people reading my blog could dig really deep and spare £1 it would help SWAN UK and all of our little SWAN‘s.

To donate click here  Just Giving SWAN or TEXT SWAN11 £3 (or however much you would like to give up to £10) to 70070
  

 

I will leave you on that note to squeeze your babies tightly. Being Dylan’s ambassador is tiring work 😴

  

Confessions of a ‘Shopaholic’ & a ‘Special Needs Mummy’ 🛍

Confessions of a Shopaholic, oops that’s another story, I mean Confessions of a Special Needs (SWAN) Mummy…. 

  

 
(Hubby, please bypass this paragraph it is not for your eyes 👀). Well if I am honest having a Special Needs Child and being a Shopaholic seem to go hand-in-hand for me, for if Dylan is having a good day, to celebrate, I shop 🛍 and if Dylan is having a bad day, to compensate, I shop 🛍. The fact is I shop full stop 🛍🛍 and the fact that I can do it in person in a shop, online at home or on the go from my smart phone at the hospital is just a bonus 🛍 😉🛍 24/7! Fact shopping is therapy. 

  
One of the ‘greatest’ things about being a ‘Special Needs Mummy’ is that it has taught me to become the person I am today. A Selfless, dedicated and hardworking mum who values every single moment of every single day. 

Life is a gift but Dylan is the biggest gift *albeit in the smallest of packaging with no label! 

  

I’ve heard so many cliché statements over the years I thought I’d share with you my ‘Top Five’ I  am sure other Mum’s! (Parents!) of Special children can relate to this…..

  

• ONE: Special Needs Mums are always asked “How do you cope?? I couldn’t……” 😩

Firstly yes you would!! You would have to, just like I have to. There’s very little choice in the matter. You may think I go above and beyond the call of duty for my special little boy but I only do what is needed to keep him well, happy and here. 

Anyone that says they couldn’t cope obviously doesn’t have to. 

I often hear….

“I haven’t slept because my child was (delete as appropriate) teething/being sick/has a cold” (etc. etc.) In fairness if I was to only have one interrupted sleep, I’d feel rotten the following day too. But the reality is I haven’t had a full nights sleep in almost six years……. It’s normal in our unconventional lives

• TWO: Special Needs Mums are always told 

“You need to look after yourself, you need to be well to look after your child……” 🤒

Never had a true word been said, and in theory a walk through the park but in reality it’s a marathon and there really isn’t enough hours in the day to put yourself first. For when the 24 hours in  a day are dedicated to caring for your sick child, us mums tend to slip on to the back burn. *tends to be a slight juggle when a Special Needs Mum has her own health problems. 

We would all love a weekend trip to a Spa once a month or even once a year (*once a decade or even once in a lifetime would be more like it!!) but our kiddies come first. Period!!

• THREE: Special Needs mums are always asked about………. Siblings and “How does ‘she’ cope??” 🤔

As a parent you want to give equal attention to all of your children. In my case two. But when you are blessed with one ‘Special‘ one and one equally as special but her needs are purely of wanting sole mummy attention, this can be hard (*back to my juggling act). As a Special a needs mummy when their non special needs child is a capable, clever and intelligent ten year old you expect them to do a lot of mondaying tasks but when you realise the tasks in hand are to pass the oxygen and help comfort sibling following watching mummy give home injections, the tasks are not too mondaying after all. It does feel like there is never enough of my attention to go around. No matter how many trips to ‘Smiggle‘ we do!! On the plus side she gets unlimited iPad time whilst I’m on phone to endless Doctors, Nurses and Therapists!! 

• FOUR: Special Needs mums would have been asked along their journey 

“If he doesn’t talk, does he sign” NO! “How do you communicate with him??” 🙄

Communication, or lack of it in our case is starting to get frustrating. Frustrating for our son who at nearly six years old is still babbling the same six sounds he’s been saying for almost four years. Cognitively, not able to sign, yet fully aware of what he would like to ask for. He finds other ways of asking, pointing, grunting, crying, changing tones in his voice, laughing when we get it right and pushing away if we get it wrong. Frustrating for us when when we don’t get it correct first time. 

People automatically assume communication by speech is natural, and generally it is. But in our home it’s not so we have to find our own way to communicate.  

Special Needs Mums have to learn to understand their non-verbal children. It’s just another part of the job! 

• FIVE: This one only us SWAN Special Needs Mums will have heard…… 

• “What do you mean ‘he’s’ Undiagnosed??”
• “When will ‘he’ be Diagnosed??”
• “How does it make you feel ‘him’ being Undiagnosed??”

And only a SWAN mummy can answer……. 😳

  
Without a diagnosis life can be very isolating. Families often feel like they don’t ‘fit in’ and without a diagnosis it can be very difficult to answer questions about their child. They don’t know what the future holds for their child – Will they walk? Talk? What will their life expectancy be?

It’s been a long journey for us a family coming to terms with Dylan not having a diagnosis. I’ve been through lots of grieving stages for the child Dylan isn’t. 

• Denial, he will get better, it’s just a blip, the doctors don’t know what they are talking about (all of them!) 
• Anger, why me, why Dylan, why us, it’s not fair (*throws dolls out of pram)
• Depression, fed up, can’t carry on, peers all continuing in their ‘normal’ path whilst Dylan is stuck in the mind and body of a baby. 
• Acceptance, realising we have been blessed with ‘THE MOST’ amazing little boy, one who is unique, a tough little fighter, who is incredibly handsome, very determined, extremely long and happy, a little boy who just takes whatever life throws at him with a pinch of salt. Accepting we are the luckiest parents alive to have been sent this little angel who has make us the strong loving parents we are today. Realising Dylan puts the ‘Special’ in ‘Special Needs’. 

Did you know six thousand children are born each year with an Undiagnosed Genetic Syndrome. Undiagnosed Children are known as SWAN’s. (Syndrome Without A Name) 

  
SWAN is a term used to describe disabled children who are thought to have a genetic syndrome or condition that doctors have so far been unable to identify.
SWAN is not a condition, it is not a diagnosis and it does not refer to one specific syndrome or condition. In fact, the reason that many children remain undiagnosed is because it is highly likely that they have a very rare syndrome or condition.

SWAN is a lifeline to hundreds of families like ours. To raise awareness for Undiagnosed children, like Dylan, this Friday, 29th April is Undiagnosed Children’s Day. It is a nationwide event to increase awareness of undiagnosed genetic conditions and raise funds to support SWAN UK, the only dedicated support available in the UK for families of children with undiagnosed genetic conditions.

  
So after almost six years of Why, What, How questions we are retired to the fact that Dylan may never get a diagnosis. Even if he was diagnosed it wouldn’t change the daily care Dylan requires. It would be so rare & wouldn’t make Dylan better or change his life expectancy but it may help others in the future which is why we will continue with Genetic studies. 

And so he writes the story #dylansstory  

  
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